...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
