I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
