barbara walters just said penis...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
