I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
