That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
