pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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