I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
