You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize