Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it penis luge time yet?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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