she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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