You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
