I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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