Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
