why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I looked at my own cervix.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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