Dual....:-)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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