You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize