Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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