someone threw a dead crab at me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
