Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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