Dual....:-)
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
