At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
