I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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