I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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