the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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