**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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