Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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