And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
