I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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