What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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