Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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