We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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