I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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