y did u give ur computer a hand job?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
