I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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