Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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