my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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