Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
