He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
