Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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