she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
