Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
