apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The adults are the big ones right?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
