Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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