I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
