we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
