I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
