I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize