so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
