sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
