his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize