Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
