You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
