please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Found your dick twin last night
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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