i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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