CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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