Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
