We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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