She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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