Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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